Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
