my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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