I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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