She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
