Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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