She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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