Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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