I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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