Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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