Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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