A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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