I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
