if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
