And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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