Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize