Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
