she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
