Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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