I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
