i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
