life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
