we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
