Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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