I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
