i wish starbucks made bloody marys
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
