yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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