Don't you send me to vm
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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