was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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