Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
