Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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