Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
