I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
