Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize