the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
