Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
