I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
