let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
