Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
