I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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