Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
