New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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