When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
