he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
