my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
