i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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