The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
