Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
