I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
