Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
