there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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