I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
