he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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