But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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