I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I smell stomach acid.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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