That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
