i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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